Sex is definitely a good stress reliever. My wife and I have been married for almost 10 years. She still has bad feelings for my ex. She was just cracking on her last night with some friends. Things are about to be tested next month. My oldest is getting married and we will all be at the wedding and reception. This includes my youngest son who hasn't seen her in 4 1/2 years. She has already told me that she will be the one drinking and I will be the one driving. I think I will get a nearby hotel room.

If the divorce decree doesn't specify which nights, at least you can exercise some control. I know I couldn't stand hearing the ex's voice for 45 minutes twice a week so I can only imagine what you go through. Headphones may work for the kids or earplugs for you.

Here is another joke for you:

The Married Life

Two married buddies are out drinking one night, when one turns to the other and says, "You know, I don't know what else to do. Whenever I go home after we've been out drinking, I turn the headlights off before I get to the driveway, shut off the engine and coast into the garage. I take my shoes off before I go into the house, sneak up the stairs and get undressed in the bathroom. I ease into bed, and my wife still wakes up and yells at me for staying out so late!"

His buddy looks at him and says, "Well, you're obviously taking the wrong approach. I screech into the driveway, slam the door, storm up the steps, throw my shoes into the closet, jump into bed, slap her on the butt and say, 'You as horny as I am?'... and she always acts like she's sound asleep!"

Yes, that will be the ultimate test. Has your son said anything or how does he feel? I cant even begin to imagine what he must be going through. And I dont blame your wife. I would be drinking, too.

That's what I need now...a good strong drink. Its been one of those trying days with "her".

Do you ever go the chat rooms on here? Maybe I will see you around sometimes.

Claudia,

Happy Mother's Day to you and all the other Mom's.

My son hasn't said much about the wedding, but I'm sure he will be more stressed as it gets closer.

As for the chat rooms, I never see anyone in one. If you want to try to set up a time, let me know.

Hello, TE. Thanks for the good wishes. I had a very nice day. My husband and my kids pampered me to death.(wish I could get that every day)

How old is your son? And how many kids do you have?

Well, the ex-wife really pissed my husband off this weekend. When we got the kids yesterday, she made the comment that she didnt want to keep the 2 year old overnight anymore. Come to find out, he gave her hell this weekend. Well, what does she expect...she rarely sees them. He didnt say anything to her at that time. The kids were all around. She is willing to let the other ones sleep over and not him. To me, that is just as good as saying she doesnt want him. I just dont understand some mothers.

I can go to chat almost anytime. Just let me know what times you are usually on here and I will try to pop in.

Hi Claudia,

I have 2 boys - 19 and 23. That is a shame about your 2 year old. Being so young she is not going to understand. It is too bad that the ex only wants to be a part-time mother (when it is convenient). I would almost be tempted to tell her that she takes them all or none, but that would not be good for the kids.

As for chatting, this week is busier than most. I usually work from home, but I will be on the go through Thursday. I should be around all day Friday so send me a message when you have time.

Take care and good luck. I'm glad you had a nice Mother's Day.

The three kids that are hers are ages 10 and then the 2 boys are 3 and 2. I dont think she realizes what the impact would do the 2 year old if she took his brother and left him. These 2 boys are very very close and although he is 2, if she does do this, then he will remember in later years. My husband has already said that she needs to take both of them...that is was not right of her to do this. Maybe they give her a hard time because she doesnt see them enough and they are looking for attention anyway they can get it.

Friday is good. As the time gets nearer, we can work out a time.

Have a good week.

I have no doubt that the 2 year old is acting up to get attention. Even when she gets mad, he is getting attention. Hopefully, she will grow up and stop acting like a 2 year old herself. Have a good week and I'll talk to you later.

I emailed the ex-wife today to let her know about a few things that are going on in the near future. On her reply to me she sounded somewhat rude, like I said something wrong or something. The only thing I can think of I said wrong was the I reminded her that is was Memorial Day weekend because that is the next time she was planning on getting her daughter. I just thought that maybe should would want to spend that day with the boys too. I was TRYING to be nice. This is what she told me:

Yes, I am also aware of Memorial Day. I'm also sure I'll be working that day as people usually call in on the weeknds/holidays. It's enough to be taking a weeknd off when most people call in. I can't do both. As I said, I need all the hours I can get. Most beaches/parks open up Memorial Day around here anyway, have fun with the kids and take em all out!

If you knew her, trust me....she meant this in a rude way. See, she works per diem, meaning she works when she is needed. She has been doing this crap for months now. I know damn well that she can find a job. She has some experience in several things. Sometimes she makes me feel like she doesnt want to work. From my point that is how I see it. We dont even see her trying so what are we to think?

Sorry to go on and on about this, but it sooo nice to get someone else's comments and opinions.

So, TE, you say you work from home? What kind of work do you do? Hopefully, I will be working in the fall. All the kids will be in school except for 1 of them and we will only have to pay daycare fees for 1 child. Well, the 3 year old will have to stay there for half the day for pre-school is only a morning thing. It will be nice to get out in the working world again.

Hope yours and everyones week is going great....

Check your email and I will answer your other questions later.

I haven't previously chipped in on this thread because as a gay man I thought that there is little for me to offer.

Putting on my professional hat though: Most of us were emotionally wounded as children - usually no need to blame parents because they are doing their best and do not intentionally psychologically damage their kids. Most childhood psychological hurts are not healed. They are raw and bleeding.

Most people get attracted to partners who provide the opportunity to re-experience those childhood hurts and this time heal them or sort them out in some way. The man/woman of your dreams thus becomes the man/woman of your nightmares. If one can see past the current relationship to the underlying childhood baggage then it can be more appropriately dealt with. The relationship can then return to the reality of caring about someone in the present and no longer pressing each other's buttons.

If people do not get past the "nightmare" stage or if the only real purpose of the relationship was to heal past distress then the relationship usually ends.

Nearly all of our emotional reactions are about 10% because of current situations and 90% because of baggage from childhood. Therefore, most of us emotionally operate as if we were back then at 5 years old (or whenever).

This woman sounds as if she is stuck in her chilodhood distress and like any pre-school child she can only deal with her own "child" feelings and has little room to consider other preschool kids (including her own biological children).

Claudia, she is not angry and rude to you personally (well, maybe 10 to 20% is to you). Most of it is her expression of feelings towards her own mother or towards someone from her childhood past.

Sorry to go into lecture mode and be too professional about it but I hope that it might help for us all to remind ourselves that most negativity is not aimed at us personally but what we represent to others from past hurts. Also to keep in mind that many emotionally charged reactions are childlike and not adult and rational.